


Remember Everything.

by LilyAnson



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Compliant Magic, Everyone Searches For Redemption, F/M, Feels, Gen, Maybe It's Not So Squinty, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Redemption, Sifki If You Squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 08:27:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12406785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAnson/pseuds/LilyAnson
Summary: Redemption: an act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed.Loki may not have been in control of himself during the attack on New York but he remembers it.  Bucky may have been mind controlled and forced to do things against his will but he remembers them.  Tony may understand that Bucky didn't act of his own accord but he cannot accept it just yet.Otherwise known as everyone searches for redemption even though none of them believe they deserve it.





	Remember Everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Until As I Say is completed there will be no more updates. This first chapter is posted as a favor to a friend. This is also posted without the use of my beta and all mistakes are mine.

Alone at last Loki dropped onto the nearest chair. He couldn’t force himself to actually sleep in his father’s bed so he always ended up sleeping here instead. Sighing heavily he allowed his head to drop forward as his eyes slid closed. Damn he was exhausted. It was tiring to maintain the illusion of being Odin but he couldn’t take the chance someone would discover his deception. There was no way they would ever understand why he was doing this. No one would ever believe he was being controlled by the Chitauri during New York and to be fair he had been fully himself for the frost giant incident.

After finding out he was a frost giant Loki had felt betrayed. Suddenly his world was shattered. Everything he’d known had been a lie. Not only was the only family he’d ever known ripped from him so was his entire identity. He wasn’t even Asgardian. Even more than that he was ‘the enemy’; one of the frost giants that terrified his people. No not his people, he reminded himself. His people were the frost giants, the monsters to be hunted down and killed by the very people that had raised him. Realizing he was clenching his teeth Loki made an effort to loosen his jaw and calm down. Anger is what got him into this problem in the first place. 

He had already slipped up slightly and Sif was suspicious. He couldn’t afford to take any chances. Frowning he lifted his head and opened his eyes. Sif, now there was complicated topic. Loki had tried to prepare himself for the challenges he would face during this ambitious scheme, and yet he had forgotten to factor her into everything. When they’d been growing up he’d been smitten with her. Sif, as with all other females, had only had eyes for Thor. At the time it had hurt that she didn’t see him. Eventually, Loki had just accepted it. He had pushed his feelings aside and moved on with his life. Now he had to maintain his charade if he wished to make amends for his actions. This meant making sure he didn’t do anything that might make anyone, especially Sif, suspicious.

To say that his time with the Chitauri was unpleasant would have been a monstrous understatement. After falling through the wormhole Loki found himself on a planet much warmer than was comfortable. This soon after his fight with Thor coupled with the injuries sustained in the fall he wasn’t able to adequately defend himself. He had been captured and imprisoned by the race now know as the Chitauri. He shivered unconsciously as he remembered his time on their planet.

-

_“What have we here?”_

_Wincing Loki struggled to catch his breath. Never had he hurt so much. The battle with his brother had been hard fought. The fall and subsequent landing only served to injure him farther. Loki strove to prop himself up on his arms when something hard slammed into his ribs and his lungs seized. His arms gave out and he fell back to the ground. Desperately he labored to draw a breath as his vision blurred. Gods, what now? Couldn’t he just be left alone to suffer in peace?_

_“Take him to a cell,” someone ordered._

_Loki recoiled at the mere mention of being locked in a cell, especially in his current condition._

.

_It hadn’t taken long before his captors realized the need to suppress his powers. Loki had never seen the like of the collar they fit ‘round his neck neck but it did its job. With the collar on he was completely unable to use his powers. Three days he sat in the cell. While they tossed ‘food’ into the cell once a day Loki found most of it inedible. The diet of these creatures would have been unpalatable to any Asgardian or frost giant. He seriously doubted if even a human would be able to stomach this fare. Choosing to ignore the ‘meat’ left little else for Loki to eat and he was constantly hungry. Other than throwing food into the cell and the occasional taunt they mostly left him alone. They were so late bring the food today that Loki was seriously rethinking his stance on the ‘meat’._

 _Pressed tightly back into a corner Loki drew up his knees and rocked. In an effort to take his mind off his stomach Loki hummed an old lullaby Frigga used to sing to him when he was younger. He could almost hear her voice while he hummed. After who knew how long he finally heard someone approaching. Loki quit humming and listened as he waited. There were three sets of footsteps this time which was out of the ordinary. Until now only two of the creatures ever came down at once. Narrowing his eyes Loki watched as his three visitors made their way to the front of his cell. Two of them were Chitauri as was normal. The third… The third was like no type of creature he’d ever seen before. The new comer moved closer and merely stared at him. Until he knew more Loki opted for silence._

_“Interesting. Tell me, what is it that brings one of Asgard’s princes to my realm?”_

-

Something was wrong. At this point she could no longer deny the odd behavior. Odin was acting very suspicious lately and she had to know why. To that end she slipped into his rooms and went in search of some kind of proof. She had just let herself in and taken a few steps forward when there was a loud shout from the next room.

“No!”

Sif stopped dead midstep. She knew that voice. Impossible she told herself. He’s dead. Quietly she moved closer and peered through the open door. Even hearing the voice hadn’t prepared her for what her eyes saw. For a second her heart fluttered at the mere sight of Loki, very much alive, pacing in the next room. An instant later she had to suppress a growl. If Loki was impersonating Odin then where was Odin? If Loki had done something to Odin then she’d kill him herself.

“Damn it,” Loki fumed. “I won’t be able to fix anything if I get caught and thrown back into that accused cell.”

Frowning Sif tried to understand what she was hearing. What precisely could Loki mean by ‘fix’ things? Surely that didn’t mean what she thought, what she hoped, it could mean. There was no way Loki had changed that much. Her frown deepened as she recalled how different he was now from the boy of her childhood. If she were forced to answer what the Loki of her childhood would mean she wouldn’t have hesitated to believe the best. Now? Suddenly there was a knock on the door to these rooms. Sif rushed across the room and dove behind the nearest piece of furniture. 

-

“You’re sending me off again?” Thor asked incredulous.

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He reminded himself that were he in Thor’s place he would probably feel every bit as frustrated. Loki had no intention of keeping the throne beyond however long it took to repair the damages he’d caused. As the future king of Asgard Thor was going to need diplomatic experience. Loki was determined to do everything within his power to help ensure Thor was prepared when the time finally came for him to ascend to the throne. Besides, Thor was one of the few people Loki was worried about noticing something wasn’t quite right. It was just easier to keep Thor away from Asgard as much as possible until he was finished repairing the damages. Luckily it would also be normal for Odin to ensure that Thor was prepared to take over rule of Asgard.

“I do not have time to deal with this. When you are king you will have to know how to handle these things. There is no reason you should not use this as a chance to gain more experience before you are named king.”

“I’ve been doing nothing except one diplomatic mission after another. I need a break. Besides, when I am king-”

“You are not king yet,” Loki growled, raising his voice. All of the years he’d spent believing Odin was truly his father had given him the opportunity to pull off a decent imitation of the man. Still, if anyone would be able to notice something out of the ordinary it would be his half-brother. He had to make sure Thor didn’t discover his secret. “Until you are king you will follow my orders. Perhaps after this mission we can find something more to your liking but I am still king for now and you will do as I say.”

-

Two meager years, that’s all he’d gotten. Any other time Odin had fallen into the Odinsleep it would normally have lasted vastly longer. Loki had hoped that with the illusion he’d placed on his ‘father’ it might have lasted longer but no. It made perfect sense somehow. Why should anything work out the way he wanted? Of course his father would wake early. It was to soon. He hadn’t done enough. Asgard wasn’t protected enough. Still, he couldn’t take the chance his ‘father’ would place him back within the cell. He would do anything to avoid being imprisoned back in that cell.

When he felt Odin break the illusion Loki fled. He didn’t have a conscious though of where to go, he merely fled through the tree. That was the one thing he knew. He couldn’t use the rainbow bridge because he would be trackable. Luckily he knew how to navigate Yggdrasil and managed to flee before he could be caught. He counted himself fortunate that he didn’t run across Ratatoskr while traveling the world tree. Under other circumstances he would have used the creature to further some plan of mischief but now he was attempting to right his previous wrongs. A run in with Ratatoskr now would only delay him and possibly lead to his capture.

Gods he wished he’d had more time. He’d barely gotten some of Asgard’s defenses back in place before Odin had woken. There was no other option but to flee. While his reasons for casting the illusion over Odin had been honorable he had no doubt the Allfather would have a difference of opinions. To be fair Odin actually did have just cause to suspect his motives after everything that had happened. It was the main reason Loki had done it in the first place. He was responsible for his actions up to the point where his brother had confronted him on the rainbow bridge. After that… 

Sighing heavily Loki ran a hand through his hair. It was hard to determine how much of his actions on Earth had been the Chitauri and how much had been his own rage. Logically he knew he’d been mind clouded but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have struck out angrily without the assistance of the Chitauri. It was difficult not to blame himself for everything that had transpired. He’d always had a temper and it almost always got the best of him. Still, he desperately wished he’d had longer to fix things in Asgard. It was too soon. None of the defenses were complete. Perhaps Odin would continue the work he’d started instead of trying to hunt him down? 

Loki shook his head again, he knew better. His father would stop at nothing when he realized what Loki had done. He’d taken a chance placing his father in the illusion and despite his reasons Odin would see it as an act of betrayal. After everything Odin had fallen into a deep sleep and left the kingdom without a leader. Loki had been looking for a way to make amends and had taken the opportunity to weave an illusion around his father to help him process things and hopefully keep him in the sleep longer. Perhaps it was those actions that led to Odin waking sooner than expected? He never had really understood Odin. Still, he hadn’t been able to fix even half of what he’d destroyed. He desperately wished he’d had longer to make amends but there was no use dwelling on might have beens.

His thoughts drifted to Sif. She alone hadn’t seemed fully convinced of his illusion. He knew not how much she suspected but was heartened that someone so perceptive was still guarding Asgard. It had always been difficult for him to read her. Still, Asgard would be well served with someone of her strength and loyalty defending it. Before old memories could draw him into the past he turned his mind to other thoughts. There was still much to do and many, many wrongs to be righted. It was going to take quite a while to atone for his actions. The sooner he got started the better.

-

Thor was furious. For the second time in a mere handful of years he’d mourned his brother and for naught. Of course Loki had played him, Thor thought as he paced. He should have expected such trickery from his brother. No, not brother, Thor reminded himself. Loki was a frost giant and it didn’t seem as if the time they’d shared together as children had made any difference at all. It made complete sense now that Loki posing as Odin would send him off as often as possible. He still should have realized something was off with his father. He would track down Loki and return him to Agard. Loki would face whatever punishment their father decreed despite whatever tricks he used, Thor would see to it.

-

Humans were weak and that’s all there was to it. They didn’t even have the ability to see past the simplest illusion. Maybe she should have been pleased by this but the thought only filled her with more scorn for the contemptible race. Why her father would view conquest of this planet as an achievement was beyond her. It didn’t matter. She would accomplish what he could not, prove herself better. Not only would she rule she would ensure the humans begged for her to be in charge. So far her plan was going well. The only thing missing now was her father. She mollified herself with the knowledge that soon enough he would be her prisoner and know that she had accomplished what he could not. 

There was evidence to suggest he had returned to this failed planet. Why he would want to she could not fathom but at least it made the possibility of his capture that much easier. She would have to be careful. While she was good with illusion magic evidence suggested that he was better. He would not be as easily fooled as these mortals. She needed to do something that would draw her father out of hiding. She could afford to wait for now but she still needed to give the matter some serious thought. Soon enough everything else would be in place and the only thing missing would be him.

Then there were these “Avengers”. The only people that could possibly pose any kind of threat to her plans were these so called Avengers. Already half of them were listed as criminals and currently being hunted by multiple agencies. Eventually she was going to have to track them down but there was time for that later. Hopefully the rest would actually be in custody soon. She just needed to initiate the next phase of her plan. Once she had them in her custody she could extract the information needed to find the rest. With them all removed from the equation she would be free find her father and to rule unopposed as he had failed to manage.

-

Tony sat at his desk glaring at the phone. Of fucking course. How stupid of him to believe Loki might actually pay for his crimes if they let Thor return him to Asgard. He would have thought that if anyone was used to Loki’s tricks it would be Thor and the other Asgardians, but no. Somehow Loki had managed to give them the slip and wind up back on Earth. And of course it would have to be him that was left to tell the others. The others were absolutely going to love this. He could just picture the conversation. ‘Yeah, you know how Loki showed up, destroyed the city and we finally managed to capture him? Yeah well, the Asgardians managed to let him slip free and he’s back. Now it’s our job to find him and capture him again.’ 

God damn it! It didn’t help matters that more than half of the ‘Avengers’ were MIA currently. Sure he could probably find them if he bothered to look but then what? How could they work together after everything? Not to mention even if he could find Steve and his band of misfits that probably wouldn’t help him find Natasha. Tracking her down would probably take a small miracle at best. Fuck! Putting his elbows on his desk Tony dropped his head into his hands and tried to come up with some semblance of a plan.

-

His first thought was to fly straight to the Avenger’s headquarters and inform them all that Loki was free and could be anywhere. However once he’d arrived on Earth he was met with some disturbing news. While he’d been gone something happened and the Avengers had seemingly split into factions. This could not have happened at a worse time. With Loki on the loose they were going to need all the help they could get. To that end and to better understand what happened in his absence he decided to find and visit Steve first.

-

Steve ran as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did. Okay, perhaps not his life but maybe his sanity. When he was stuck indoors with nothing to do but think his mind tried to drown him in all the ‘what ifs’. Running allowed him to clear his mind and stop thinking. If only for a little while all his worries were temporarily relegated to the background of his mind. While he ran his mind cleared and finally allowed him a few moments of peace. From out of nowhere dark clouds gathered overhead. Steve slowed, stopped, and stared upward at the rapidly gathering clouds. 

A jagged flash of lightning slashed across the sky briefly before a loud rumble of thunder sounded. Finally there was a loud crash and someone landed just in front of him. Steve already knew who it would be before he fully saw the new arrival. Therefore when his eyes landed on Thor he wasn’t the least bit surprised. If he were being honest with himself he’d actually expected Thor to show up eventually. He really wished he already knew how much Thor knew and how he felt about it all. Oh well, he thought. He would know soon enough.

“Thor,” Steve greeted cautiously with a slight nod. Until he knew the reason for Thor’s sudden appearance it was probably better to play it carefully.

After a brief inspection of their surroundings Thor returned the nod. “It would seem much has happened since my departure.”

“A bit, yeah,” Steve answered, still slightly cautious. A soft breeze gusted through the trees and Steve wet his lips to buy time before he had to continue. “Maybe it would be better answered with all of us present,” he offered.

“All?”

Steve winced at the implication. “I meant those of us that didn’t sign the Accords,” he clarified, finally forcing himself to meet Thor’s eyes. 

There was a moment of hesitation before Thor gave a quick nod of agreement. “I also have grave news of my own. Perhaps it would better discussed with the others present as well.”


End file.
